It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
