I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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