go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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