Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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