Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Do vagina's smell?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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