we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just high enough for therapy.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
