sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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