In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i was born a porn star she said
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
