4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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