Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
My balls are so social today.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
ugly people sure do ruin things
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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