Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
