My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
