The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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