my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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