Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
