oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
