when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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