Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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