A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
