have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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