mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
that's an acceptable place to lick
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
