I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
