Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
