how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize