Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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