Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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