I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
How's work?
Spinning.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
