i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize