so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I could fuck to npr.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
