Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
