i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
