he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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