i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
