Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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