At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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