Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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