are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
