I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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