i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
