Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
