We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
