I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
