i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
