Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
