No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
