I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
