OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
