Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize