So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
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