you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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