omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
