I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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