Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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