i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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