Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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