I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize