how can u be prego again
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize