I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
