he told me I talked like a deaf person
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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