she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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