It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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