Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
