Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It's official drugs can't kill me
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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