I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize