hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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