how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
