dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
